se7en

The life and times of a home schooling mom of se7en + 1.

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Children Are People Too, Se7en Gripes…

December 15th, 2009 · 44 Comments

After a week of Christmas Shopping, some would call it eating out I feel the need to mention that children are people too… and what better place than on our blog and I will pop it into the Steady Mom’s 30 minute challenge because really a mother person can only gripe for so long before she gets back to reality. And I must mention that my reality is most people are lovely towards our kids, and let me say that most places we go to the service is fine… but there are a few places and events that stand out:

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  1. In the Store:

    Have you ever noticed when you go into certain stores with your kids how the store attendants get very attentive: Looking my kids in the eye and saying “whatever breaks consider it sold” Just look around, my kids are with me, they are sticking like glue, they are naturally curious – but it is the adult shoppers that are really exploring, touching everything, “look at this darling,” if I just remove the packaging will this look good on my mantle. Not to mention reading books and magazines, but heaven help the child that picks up a book to read the splab on the back cover. Oh my word… it is very hard to find a kid friendly store. And for some reason, the worst are toy stores, where somehow the merchandise is more precious than others – which tells you just how sturdy the toys they are selling are!!!

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  3. In a Restaurant:

    Where your kids have waited patiently for over forty minutes for their food, then an adult table arrives and their food arrives almost instantly. It is the adults that have called the waiters fifty bazillion times for extra drinks and to change their order. You have no idea how this annoys me!!! My kids would never dream of calling the waiters constantly for attention, they know they would have to wait even longer. I am not saying serve the kids first just respect their place in the order of things and serve folk as they arrive. Unless of course you are intending to charge them half price and treat them like half citizens… but last time I looked we paid the full price for our kids, not to mention the extra service charge for a “large group table.” I am not asking for special treatment, just treat my kids like the paying customers they are.

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  5. In a Gallery or Museum:

    We have been in art galleries and museums where we have been followed the entire time with security (in case we touch)… My kids weren’t the ones photographing in a no photography zone, my kids were not the ones gently delving their fingernails into the frame to see if it really was gold, my kids weren’t talking on their cells phones or being excessively noisy as they argued over who the artist was… Hang on those were the adult perpetrators!!!

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  7. On a Plane:

    You have never seen adults scramble faster than when you get on a plane with a couple kids. But folks, especially if you fly at night, kids sleep eventually… It is the adult passengers that call for service all night long, that climb over you twenty million times a night to get to the bathroom, that have all-night-long conversations, and then laugh out loud and guffaw through movies at two in the morning but they have got head phones on and can’t hear themselves… Kids sleep, what a hassle!

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  8. At The Beach:

    How many times have we arrived at the beach to have neighboring folk grumble about people with heaps of kids and now their peace is ruined, – hello it is the beach!!! What they don’t know as they pack up their stuff and scuttle away is that kids are at the beach for two things… to dig and to paddle, all this happens at the waters edge a fair distance from any discerning mother with a pile of beach towels, bags and a book!!!

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  9. In an Audience:

    Oh my word. Adults of this world it is all very well to be smiling at the child next to you all the while hissing to the folk that you are with that you hope these kids behave… because if you ever stop and listen to an audience it is the adults (ahem) clearing their throats and spluttering, it is the adults phones that haven’t been put on silent, it is the adults scrabbling in their bag for a tissue, it is the adult unwrapping a cough drop for their scratchy throat… yes my kids might laugh louder than necessary, clap with greater enthusiasm than is required, but they will also be completely engaged in any good performance and you probably won’t hear from them from start to finish!!!

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  11. In General:

    How many friendly faces have bent down to my kids and said: “Have your parents not heard of over-population…?” Yes, their parents have and since these folks are so concerned about it maybe they could start solving the problem with themselves. How many people say to me: “I couldn’t stand more than two kids,” with their own kids standing right there!!! Well we happen to like our kids and I am sorry some folks’ kids are unbearable!!! The message is clear, there are some of my kids I shouldn’t like very much and just do away with – sorry folks I love them all totally!!!

I guess it is not such a Victorian idea that children should be seen and not heard – my kids have learnt this lesson and know it to be true… By the time they are adults they will have learnt to travel incognito and will make an excellent team of spies. I guess what I am saying is that I wish that before folk went on about human rights and especially children’s rights they might want to consider (or reconsider!!!) what is tumbling out of their mouths.

This Post is part of The Thirty Minute Mom’s Challenge at Steady Mom.

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Tags: Home Truths

44 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Mliss // Dec 15, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    Oh Se7en! how terribly I can relate!! I have been blown away just lately by the stuff total strangers feel they can say to me simply because I am walking around obviously pregnant with three littlies around my legs! I often have to hold myself back from asking if they realise that what they said they actually said out loud instead of just thinking it!!! ;-)

  • 2 Kim // Dec 15, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    Amen! Preach it, Sister!

  • 3 Sands // Dec 15, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Yes it brings back memories of when I was discharged from Hospital my MIL asking me if I had been fixed. Gee my son was premature and in NICU at the time so we were not even sure if the baby would live. My MIL herself had lost her first born to an aspirin allergy and was advised to have another child to overcome the grief. So in theory she had three children. I had my first two and eight years later we are still waiting for more blessings to no avail. Long story, had fertility issues the first time so if I was really serious would probably have to go for another round of treatments which are not viable due to other health issues at the moment. Enjoy your beautiful blessings Se&en and Mliss and ignore the nay sayers…

  • 4 Susan // Dec 15, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    I actually had a woman ask me, “Did you want all your children?” I was so tempted to point to one or two and say, “Well, not that one and that one.”

    Loved your 30 min. gripe.

  • 5 Marcia Francois // Dec 15, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    Poor kids! Makes my blood boil just reading it.

  • 6 se7en // Dec 15, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    Hi M, Yup the jump from three to four is a big one for people questioning your sanity, but after five folk mostly assume you are insane and stop asking if you know where they come from!!! Hang in there you aren’t pregnant for ever!!!

  • 7 se7en // Dec 15, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    Thanks K, One just has to say what one has to say!!! You have a Good Day!!!

  • 8 se7en // Dec 15, 2009 at 10:35 pm

    Hay S, Isn’t it awful how so many folks have our “best interests” in mind!!! Those same “interested parties” aren’t always so keen to hear our input!!! I think that might be where graciousness comes in to it and lots of it!!! Thanks for sharing, I hope you have a good day!

  • 9 se7en // Dec 15, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    Hi S, I had a “less than a week old #6″ at a swimming lesson for the older kids and the poolside mom’s were discussing my sanity. One of the mom’s asked me the same question… I wasn’t lovely and did say I was sorry she had such awful children, mine were so lovely that the question had never even occurred to me – post baby hormones – whatever, it flew out of my mouth… Let’s just say I never made a lot of friends poolside!!! Hope your week gets better!!!

  • 10 se7en // Dec 15, 2009 at 10:57 pm

    Hi M, Don’t worry about the kids they are mostly oblivious… it is their less oblivious mother you have to be concerned for!!! Only kidding… But it will never be a child friendly world while kids are treated as half-rate citizens rather than short citizens!!! Lots of love and glad you have made it back to work!!!

  • 11 Marci@OvercomingBusy // Dec 16, 2009 at 12:47 am

    Your post actually made me laugh. I’m glad it’s not just us who has had such experiences! When my son was about 18 months and figured out how to unhook the seatbelt in shopping carts, there was no way I could keep him in a cart and get any shopping done. My son and I were actually escorted out of Target because they didn’t like the way my son was screaming and jumping out of the cart!

  • 12 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 12:59 am

    Hi M, Nothing like our kids showing a little independence!!! Looking back is always so much funnier than when we are actually in there!!! Hope you have a good week!!!

  • 13 RobinSue // Dec 16, 2009 at 1:55 am

    I have three children and I do hate it when the sales clerks hover, it makes me nervous. Sadly I think they are trained to be that way by all the misbehaved children who ruin it for the rest of us.

  • 14 Elise // Dec 16, 2009 at 2:00 am

    I have recently come across your blog and what a joy it is. Your blog is uplifting and inspirational.

    I am pregnant with my third baby and we will have three children in April that will be three and under. When we announced our pregnancy so many people asked if it was planned and we also received numerous comments about how “brave” we were. Yes it was planned and we are so excited to be preparing to welcome a new baby into our family – that has nothing at all to do with being brave.

    I love your post. I would be honoured to share any of those venues you mentioned with your family. People’s insistence on judging and their ignorance never ceases to amaze me.

  • 15 Victoria // Dec 16, 2009 at 2:37 am

    I agree. It’s usually the adults that act like children.
    Last night I went to my son’s basketball game and by the end of it I was so tired of hearing parents yell at the referees and THIER OWN CHILDREN!

    Kim has it right, “Sing it loud, sista!”

  • 16 Jess // Dec 16, 2009 at 3:51 am

    I’m right there with you. One lady who said to me “Better you than me!” Got a bright smile and an “Oh yes, I agree!” I think she’s still trying to work that one out. I had a woman in a restaurant DELIBERATELY whack her chair into me several times and flick her long hair against the back of my head in order to “hint” that I may want to take another table!

    It makes those rare and beautiful complements stand out like jewels to me. I’m afraid that the well meaning family members who are SO concerned about my waistline and the health of my pelvic floor are the ones that REALLY make me have to bite my tongue!

  • 17 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 7:59 am

    Hi RS, You are so right just like there are some hideous adults there are some dreadful kids around!!! It makes me nervous too when people hover and far more likely for disasters to happen!!! You take care and have a great day!!!

  • 18 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 8:03 am

    Hi E, I am so glad you enjoy stopping by!!! I just love the “Was it Planned?” question. How on earth do you answer that graciously it is so easy to think of a quick comeback… and more of a skill to be umm nicer than they are!!! ALl the best with that baby on board…Put your feet up till next year, you have my permission!!! Have a good day…

  • 19 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 8:08 am

    Hi V, There is no reasoning with adults that act like children – there just are not enough “naughty spots” in the world!!! I think we all behave badly but it is easier to “correct kids” than ourselves!!! There is absolutely nothing you can do about mad parents at any sports game except die of embarrassment for them!!! Have a great week and take some more stunning photographs!!!

  • 20 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 8:14 am

    Hi J, Your comment had me roaring with laughter!!! Aren’t you so right those compliments being few and far between… Don’t folks know a little encouragement goes a very very long way!!! And as for the pelvic floor isn’t that so true and so hysterical, so many perfect strangers are concerned for the father person and my relationship, which is clearly fine thank-you we have eight kids to prove it, compared to their one!!! You have a great and funny day!!!

  • 21 Tash // Dec 16, 2009 at 9:22 am

    BRAVO,BRAVO.If i had a penny for every time I have been asked “Don’t you know what causes that ?”I would be one very rich mumma.Don’t worry every one in my community thinks that I am mad too,at a school gathering the other day my husband was asked if we were going to have any more,his not so subtle reply was yes we are trying to catch up to the duggars,lol.We love having a larger family and were very disappointed recently when we thought we might be having number 7,people could not understand why we felt disappointed,they actually said,oh luck you are not pregnant :(

  • 22 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 9:43 am

    Hi T, What about: “Don’t you have a TV?” – To which my husband always answers: “Yes, our kids watch it all day” – Not actually, I just finding it astonishing what folk think is okay to ask us but would nearly faint if we asked them the same sort of questions about their private lives and choices. Not to mention how many women and I mean many many older women, who come up to me and say they wish they had had more kids when they were able … sad really. You have a good day with your troop!!!

  • 23 Olivia // Dec 16, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    I could go off, but I’ll just add my; ‘AMEN!’ And Thank You. And also to those you’ve commented, much needed encouragement and some good come-backs I need to remember!

  • 24 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    Hay O, Good to hear from you!!! Sometimes everyone seems to have said it all!!! You have a great day!!!

  • 25 Jenn @ Beautiful Calling // Dec 16, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    First, I want to say that I am impressed that it fit into the 30 minute challenge! LOL. Most of my 30 minute challenges have a lot of pictures.

    Anyway, I only have two little ones and often I find the same thing. We went to a museum the other day and I had baby in the carrier and Chloe (almost three) walking beside me. Now she isn’t perfect but she is super well behaved, yet it felt like the attendant was hovering and following us. It was really annoying.

    Children are a blessing and though I will probably not be blessed with a large family, I get steamed at discrimination and condemnation that larger families get!

  • 26 Granny Ant // Dec 16, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    Well done, well done, well done. A standing ovation is needed here. And do not think it is only parents thst get asked these tactless and insulting questions. Grand parents get it too. ‘Doesn’t she know the world is overpopulated? ‘Don’t they know where they come from?’ ad nauseum. Try telling people in a hospital about ‘ too many kids.’ A way to cause a shocked silence, followed by a gasp. I have often suspected they pick on the kids to cover up their own social misdemeaners.

  • 27 Danielle // Dec 16, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    Love it!
    I just got home from a really challenging trip to Hobby Lobby with my two youngest kids. Seems like there’s always a screaming kid there, and today it was both of mine. The glares I received were discouraging…..can’t these people relate? My poor kids were trying, they’d just hit their limit, and I was about to hit mine. Next time I’ll go alone, and try to help out another mom in need :-)

  • 28 Susan // Dec 16, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    Love your perspective and rings so true to my experience in toy stores, restaurants and airplanes (and that’s with just the one kiddo in tow). Pretty much since pregnancy, I’ve been astounded with what some folks feel comfortable asking (or touching…that’s a whole other gripe!). We were recently at a large family event and while I was grateful that my little person was handling it all so well, I got really tired of everyone commenting on how “good” she was…as if they couldn’t get over their low expectations and enjoy her enjoyment. Meanwhile, no one was reprimanding the adults having a few too many drinks or saying inappropriate things, etc. (or complimenting the ones who managed not to) I had back up escape plans for if things went south…because that seems to be part of what parenting was about.

  • 29 Susan // Dec 16, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    Se7en, you are right- with our #7 people didn’t ask as many rude questions about our intelligence or intentions- we’ve already been written off.

    I have answered the question “Don’t you know what causes that?” several times with, “Yes, And we really really like it.”

  • 30 kelly // Dec 16, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    Hi
    Just back from our trip in SA and we also ahd a few comments along the way “can we buy you a tv?” or my mom’s friend telling me” you must talk to your husband” (as if its all HIS fault!) and yet on our way out, at the airport a normal looking, sweet elderly lady came to me and said “well done, I can see you are doing a wonderful job! Your kids seem happy and loved.” How encouraging! She seemed to linger and what to chat more… she had had 7 of her own. need I say more!

  • 31 Aunty Muffin // Dec 16, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    great comments! God has planned each baby born (Psalm 139:14-16), and we should not feel pressurized to apologize for His gracious gifts.

  • 32 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 11:16 pm

    Hi J, When I get going on a topic I can really just wham a post out!!! Thanks for your sharing your steam!!!

  • 33 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    Hay Granny Ant, Thanks for commenting!!! Sorry we have put you through this!!! But glad to be blessed with our troop so that we could supply you with a heap of grand kids. Have a great day!

  • 34 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    Hi D, Sometimes you have to get to a store regardless of timing… I once dashed in to a store literally for one thing and one of mine was having a complete melt down and another shopper said: “I know at least one person who wishes you weren’t here…” and I replied saying:”Actually none of us want to be here…” It was only much later when we got home that I realized she meant that she would rather not be there, because of us!!! Isn’t life so funny in retrospect!!! Hope you have better luck next time!!!

  • 35 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    Hi S, Love your comment, you are so right about misbehaving adults!!! Not to mention you are so right to have a back-up plan when you are out with kids. Have a good day!!!

  • 36 se7en // Dec 16, 2009 at 11:53 pm

    Hay S, Cute comeback!!! And I bet you don’t get much interference after that!!! Take Care!

  • 37 se7en // Dec 17, 2009 at 12:07 am

    Hi K, Glad you got home safely. Aren’t positive comments to few and far between, I wish you could bottle them!!! Have a great day!!!

  • 38 se7en // Dec 17, 2009 at 12:12 am

    Hay Aunty Muffin, Great comment yourself!!! I am going to carry that one around on my heart!!! Lots of love!!!

  • 39 Tammy Mayes // Dec 19, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Well with mine, I have gotten to the point where I wont stand for it and wont be embarassed. A while ago in a local material shop the grouchy old scottish woman having a bad day asked with such a huff and a look of disgust for me to get my kids under control when they were standing next to me quiet as mice and just touching GENTLY a cotton reel – intoxicated by the colour. They couldn’t break it, it was covered in plastic so they couldn’t dirty it, they were not making a noise. So I gathered them up and said ” You are a grouchy old woman. You are rude and if you dont want young mothers with children in your shop kindly put a sign in the door in future” as I was walking out! The other people in the shop were open mouthed but I don’t regret it at all. This is the second time I have done it. If my children are not welcome my money clearly isn’t either!

  • 40 se7en // Dec 19, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    Hi T, Nice to hear from you… I could learn from you!!! I always think of brilliant things to say long after the fact!!! Hoe you guys are having a fun weekend!!!

  • 41 Sammy // Dec 27, 2009 at 3:16 am

    Can I add one more gripe? At a restaurant, is it possible to expect that my kids will eat real food? You know, the kind with interesting flavors and combinations? Not just grilled cheese or a cheeseburger or a hot dog with fries? I would love it if restaurants offered child sized portions of their great food and appropriate sides. It bothers me to no end to take them to a Middle Eastern place and for them not to see house specialities on the menu for them. How can I expect my kids to behave well if all they are offered to eat is junk?

  • 42 se7en // Dec 27, 2009 at 8:25 am

    Hi S, I am so with you on that … as soon as I see kids menu (and chicken nuggets and chips – waaaa) I know I am in the wrong place!!! I always feed my kids real food from the adult menu because what’s the point of exploring different restaurants and different foods of all they are eating is fries!!! I could go on and on!!! Thanks for commenting, have a lovely day!!!

  • 43 k.cole // Jan 27, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    First I would like to say…This is my very first comment…That being said :) I do not have a blog but have read and gone through blogs on anything family,craft..ORGANIZING…on and on…I am thrilled to have found you and cannot wait to get more inspired by what you write…I was looking to be inspired and found it…THANK YOU!

  • 44 se7en // Jan 27, 2011 at 10:12 pm

    Hi K, Thanks for stopping by, hope you have a great day…

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