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The life and times of a home schooling mom of se7en + 1.

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Sunday Snippet: Living With the Tent Flaps Open…

August 28th, 2012 · 18 Comments

I have a dream… I’ve always had it… of owning a large house with lots of extra rooms and really a guest house a place for all our missionary friends to take a break. A place with crisp white sheets and views of the beach. Endless fabulous meals and a shelves with good books to read. A place where they could escape from the madding crowd, a place where they could rest and recover and a place that would soften the blow of re-entry. And yet we live in a two bedroomed home and when people come to stay they may have a view of the sea, but the reality is more like lumpy mattresses on the floor and the linen is not crispy white sheets at all.

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In a world that is increasingly cellular, seeking indepence from others as the ultimate parenting goal… from birth our children must have their own stuff, in their own room down the hall and later on attend their own school, in their own classroom with their own extra-murals. You can see why families find it hard to spend time together and extended family and hospitality have become an almost unattainable dream. I want my children to know that we live with “the tent flaps open,” so to speak. We practice hospitality, we need to practice!!!

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So practice and practice and more practice… always learning and hopefully getting better at it. Sharing our blessings with generous hearts. Hospitality is a way of life, we can’t afford to wait until our house is perfect or until our kids behave perfectly, we can’t wait until our school day is over or until we have the perfect meal ready. Frankly, some of those things might never happen. I think as long as we view guests as interruptions they will be just that… but if we view our guests as gifts from the Lord and opportunities to connect and to serve other folk, then they become the blessing that they are.

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We are heading into the more formal part of our school year, it is a big deal for us. Many friends have said: “Oh well we won’t pop in then, we don’t want to interrupt.” There is an audible gasp, and it isn’t a happy one, from my kids. Think of Nehemiah, as he and his team worked to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, they were constantly interrupted by annoying thugs who are doing everything they could to thwart the project… Nehemiah equipped his team and they continue to build. This is a lesson my children need to learn, while school is their primary task it is not their only task. We want friends to feel comfortable enough to stop by… without feeling that they are imposing. So our home can not be too chaotic – though this does happen!!! If friends stop by at a mealtime then they must expect to share it with us, if a mom needs someone to talk to, then to be sure my kids will look after her kids while she chats.

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The thing is, we welcome interruptions and firmly believe that we have been blessed with a home, that is not so much ours but our visitors too. My children have grown up with guests at the dinner table a couple of nights a week – and no we are not serving banquets. There are a few things we can do to make hospitality easier on the family, when we do our morning chores it is with a view that someone will be stopping by… make the beds, wash the dishes and clean the bathroom… Things are usually neat and tidy before we start school. And whenever anyone stops by we are only: five minutes from a batch of popcorn; fifteen minutes from a batch of cookies; half an hour from a quick cake; or of it is dinner one of my kids can pop a batch of apples in the oven to bake, quick and easy and makes your house smell wonderful!!!

In a culture that is determined that everyone has their own space… we are determined to keep our tent flaps open and welcome the daily interruptions that a family with eight kids and their friends naturally have. It may not be the guest house that I dream about, but it is our home and we love to share it.

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18 responses so far ↓

  • 1 aunty muffin // Aug 28, 2012 at 8:49 am

    So true! And so hard to do!

  • 2 Jerusha // Aug 28, 2012 at 11:39 am

    What an amazing outlook on hospitality!
    Jerusha´s last blog post ..In which, the government gives me free hot chocolate

  • 3 se7en // Aug 28, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Hay Aunty Muffin… That’s why we are just practicing!!! Somehow there always reasons why we shouldn’t have guests over, but when they arrive at the door they just come on in!!! I hope you have a wonderful week!!!

  • 4 se7en // Aug 28, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    Hay Jerusha… Thanks for stopping by… it is about time you drove down the Peninsula and stopped by in real life!!! Have a fun week!!!

  • 5 Sharlene // Aug 28, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    The comparison to Nehemiah is very good. I tend to get flustered with people just dropping in. I forget how easy and quickly it is to whip up something. Thank you.

  • 6 Danyelle Franciosa // Aug 29, 2012 at 2:10 am

    This post reminds me of my mom. When I was still in college, she also wanted to have a bigger house for some guests, its either her sisters, relatives and even just a guest.
    When I graduated college, she also received her retirement benefits a couple of months later and that moment she started building her dream of having a brand new and bigger house.
    Currently, she’s happy with her new house.. and I miss her so much!
    Danyelle Franciosa´s last blog post ..Allkind Joinery Brisbane – Upholding a Proud Tradition

  • 7 Zoe // Aug 29, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Such a lovely post even if I arrive at a similar position from a different starting point. “a culture that is determined that everyone has their own space” >> I think this is the cause of so many of our ills nowadays. One particular issue for me is car ownership – cars used to create private little no-compromise bubbles.

    But for something more fun, do you know this japanese house which really does have tent flaps (well, sort of) – the Curtain House:

    http://www.designboom.com/history/ban_curtainwall.html
    Zoe´s last blog post ..A visit to Seven Stories – a must-see destination for fans of children’s literature

  • 8 se7en // Aug 29, 2012 at 8:44 am

    Hi Sharlene, I know I used to “batten down the hatches” and hope no-one stopped by during school time… and honestly it just stressed us all out rushing to get everything done in case folks stopped by. It is counter-intuitive, but by welcoming visitors we have become far more relaxed about just letting things be!!! And visitors are always a mini-break for me… I just cannot do chores while folks are visiting – I have to stop and take a break – I never would otherwise!!! It has taken years to recognise that!!! It does take time and practice but we are getting there!!!

  • 9 se7en // Aug 29, 2012 at 8:49 am

    Hay Danyelle, I think our house is so full of folk right now, but when my kids leave they may indeed take the company with them… a quiet and rattling house!!! I will miss my kids terribly and I know it works both ways… so I am sorry you miss your mom so much. Hope you have a good week!!!

  • 10 se7en // Aug 29, 2012 at 8:52 am

    Hay Zoe, I’ve never thought about car ownership like that… but you are right!!! It is amazing how many folk we meet and greet and interact with because we walk places. And the rhythm of our walks means that over time we meet the same folk each day or week and we have made quite a few friends that way!!! And how wonderful is The Curtain House an interesting idea in the modern world!!! Hope you have fabulous week!!!

  • 11 Sam // Aug 29, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    So true. I really liked this post. Need to remember it in future. I love having guests but feel so pressured for things to be perfect, silly really, they’ve come to see us not a perfectly tidy house! Thanks for sharing. Keep the good advice flowing;-)

  • 12 Sherrin // Sep 4, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    Thank you for your encouragement! It is a timely reminder for us to persevere in hospitality.

  • 13 se7en // Sep 4, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    Hay Sherrin, Good to hear from you again!!! Hospitality is definitely one of things that folks think is a knack, but turns out to just require lots of practice!!! Hope you have a great week!!!

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